What we can learn from Haman?

Haman was not okay with Mordecai being honored. In fact, he was so uncomfortable with it that he devised a plan to kill all of the Jews.  

The fact was that Haman was so upset for how Mordecai wouldn’t bow to him, which caused him to act irrationally by plotting to kill millions of people -- This probably seems extremely absurd for many of us. Why go to such drastic measures? Why not just "dust your shoulders off" and keep moving? 

But the problem was -- Haman’s pride. He could not stand someone not bowing down to him. 

This was Haman’s mindset: Esther 6:6 "“Who is there that the king would rather honor than me?”

Haman things to himself “who is greater than me? Surely, there is no one.” We cannot say - that Haman lacked confidence. For it appears he was very confident in his own capabilities, glory and recognition due to him. It was when these things were THREATENED that he appeared to show his weakness. How does he respond when Mordecai receives honor?

Esther 6:12 "But Haman rushed home, with his head covered in grief" 

Most people would potentially look at these passages and say, “Wow that Haman guy he was wrong.” And never see how the very actions and responses he had are very typical to our sinful nature.

I mean – don’t most people like recognition? Don’t most people feel good when they are ‘thanked’ or appreciated for things that they have done. We would be liars to say those comments or actions mean nothing. We love them. We are just like Haman in that. We believe we deserve recognition for actions and if we don’t get it we often hang our head in grief. We may look at someone else who receives the honor we believe we deserve and think, “why them?” We may spend hours of our day comparing ourselves to others and desiring for someone somewhere to recognize us – for who we are.

We may not result in drastic actions of killing someone. We may not devise a plan for the demise of a group of people. Praise God if we never get to that point of evil in the human mind. But we are just as sinful as Haman. We are no greater than his sinful nature. We are just as rotten.

Yet – Isn’t it funny that the one thing many of us desire to receive God freely gives? We desire to receive recognition, praise, honor or acceptance. We search long and hard for the people of this life who will offer those things to us. We look around for it everywhere and then we become downcast and mournful when we can’t find it. Yet --- There is a God who sent his son to die on behalf of our sinful ways. He gave up the thing he loved that was essentially a part of his being so that we could have a relationship with him.

We easily forget this – we become selfish like Haman and want more. We say, “it’s not enough that Jesus died for me – I want the world to accept and recognize me for who I am.” We ignore the fact that not only did Jesus die for us but God created us.

Psalm 8:4-5

“What is mankind that you are mindful of them?

Human beings that you care for them?

You have made them a little lower than the angels

and crowned them with glory and honor.”

God made us. God gave us glory. We were crowned a little lower than heavenly beings. We were created in his image.

How can we desire the world’s recognition enough when all of these things whisper:

You are precious.

You are recognized.

You are redeemed

You are appreciated.

You are mine.

&

You are worth it.

Seasons

There are times when it is hard to see that it is a “season.” It is hard to think, “this thing will pass away. It will get better” when little things keep happening. You look through the stacks of worries and concerns you have and you wonder -- how is this getting any smaller? 

There’s a million of questions, concerns, and fears that I am holding based on my current life situation. It is not easy to be a MSW Intern with an agency that you are passionate for, with a supervisor that reminds you of Miranda Priestly (Devil Wears Prada). 

It is not easy to question if you’ve made the right decision and to practice walking on eggshells. You mess up. You get hurt. You think you are serving people and you get yelled at. You get told not to cry because your tears could not even be comforted by tissues. You are told to hold all your emotions in -- because that’s what a good MSW does right? You have to keep your cool. You don’t want your client (or anyone) for that matter to see you are weak. You don’t want to be human. You are superman. 

Yet for me, when I sit alone in quiet place then the tears come. I am overwhelmed. My heart is not strong enough to deal with all the things. I am not strong enough to deal with all the things. I become anxious. I anticipate the next day I will Intern and how much potential terror will come. I will look for good indicators of things being positive such as my supervisor saying, “how are you” or “have a good weekend.” I hear these things and I want to think see -- she is nice. I am silly to feel the hurt I’ve felt. I am silly to cry about this. Stop it Gaby, stop being so dumb. She is nice. Stop being so sensitive.

These thoughts race through my head in a couple minutes and I teach myself how to ignore my emotions and calm myself down. I’ve apparently became a master of denial. I put on my smiley face and continue on. I don’t expect the next storm because I have never even dealt with the last one. 

The question that comes to me now in this moment, in the midst of all my current anxiety, fears and tears is: Where is my hope?

Where is my hope? Oh my soul. Where are you? 
Is my hope in Man or God?

If it is in man, I will always be disappointed because the earth isn’t my home. I am not welcomed here and I am probably not liked here. 

If it is in God, I will always be comforted. I will find peace in the form of rainbows after storms and shelter. I will find peace (in time) from the joy of knowing this earth is not my home. I am not the sum of how others make me feel -- but I am loved by a creator who loved me enough to challenge me. I am loved despite my actions, failures, selfishness, and stupidity. I am loved simply because I am his creation. He delights in knowing me. He will provide me with all the tissues and shoulders to cry on. He will comfort me always, consistently, every time with his love. IT WILL always be more than enough.

I am not the sum of everything that people make me feel. I am not the sum of how my past has made me feel. I am not the sum of how a supervisor makes me feel. I am more than my failures. I am loved by my creator. 


You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way. 

Song of Solomon 4:7

Jesus overcome me.

"If I believe your name can save - then I will trust in what you promise. If you can overcome the grave - then you will overcome me. 

Jesus overcome me. Loosen my chains."

If I can believe that God is able to heal the brokenhearted, orphans, widows, sick, blind, prostitutes, and addicts. I must be able to believe he can change me. He can heal me of any pain whether present or previous. 

I know in order for him to be able to change me and heal me -- I must open myself up and allow him to heal me. I must be able to be open and trust that he can heal me. I must not hide or put on a mask in order to remain a hypocrite but I must come before him as the broken, selfish and terrible person I am and allow him to see that. 

The beauty of his restoration is that he can see us in our worst moments. He can see us when we are feeling the deepest feelings of loneliness and despair. He can see these things and all he see is his beloved. 

"Daughter, dry your tears. Your father is home. I am not going anywhere. If you feel you need to cry I will let you. But trust me- this is not the end." 

My soul ought to boast of Christ because in every ounce of despair and weakness he is with me. He is in all these things no matter how painful. 

Encouraging Words

Gaby has been a wonderful student to have in class.  She is very responsible, showing a high degree of professionalism in her communication with the instructor, and was diligent about getting her work done early or on time.  Gaby is clearly thoughtful, and asks important questions.  As well, she is intuitive and offers important insights about practice and client interventions.  Gaby has a particular interest in understanding cultural differences, and because of this, has exhibited openness to learning and understanding more about herself, in order to work effectively with a wide range of people.  She has expressed a desire to serve underprivileged and marginalized people, and will have an opportunity to do so in her field placement at an agency working with a refugee population.  She also exhibited this commitment by going to South America during the semester to serve and learn.  Gaby will benefit from gaining confidence and advocacy skills, which will come from continuing to work in the field.  She brings a sensitivity and intuition to the field of Social Work, which will benefit those whom she serves.

Professor at USC 

Good News about Injustice

Unconditional Love

Our society promotes a love that is based on conditions. I will be good to you if you are good to me. I will love you if you love you. I will stay with you if you prove you are worth staying with.

This is conditional. 

This is love based on conduct. 

Women are taught this to the extreme. You have to dress the right way, have a nice body and please your husband -- or else he will stray from you. You have to be good at sex and learn how to satisfy him. You must put him above you and everything else in your life. You are the lesser person so you must submit yourself to his needs. You must neglect your own needs because if you don't -- there's a threat he will leave you. 

Isn't this the message the world teaches? A love and marriage based on conduct and conditions. A conditional love that's hard on having to do the "right" things to be loved. 

This world also recognize that at times men cheat. There's articles on that too. 

"10 Ways to Keep Your Man from Cheating" 

This idea focuses on teaching women that somehow because your man cheats on you ---> it's your fault. 

Because she wasn't sexual enough, experimental enough, caring enough,... etc fill in the blank. 

We are taught in our society to believe that we are only worth a man's acceptance. 

How can we possible comprehend or understand a love that is not conditional? How can we learn ourselves to love in such a way?

Unconditional 

Absolute; it'll happen no matter what else happens. 

How do we know how to do that --- if the only love we are shown is based on conditions? How can we learn to accept such a love - if we have been taught we must be good to be loved? 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."

There is no way to seperate ourselves from the love of Christ. It is unconditional. 

Exodus

There's something that's so interesting when you see a powerful leader weakened.

Exodus tells the great story of how God used a baby in a basket to be saved in a river and ultimately used for his glory. But let us not forget about what happens before -- Pharaoh feels threaten. 

The first chapter of Exodus does not actually say that the Israelites were "powerful" but it says they were numerous. They were multiplying. Pharaoh felt threatened by these people just based on the vas number of people. So because Pharaoh was afraid they would take over -- he oppressed them. 

This kinda gives a new perspective for modern day oppression doesn't it? What if the weakest people were oppressed just because they were feared? What if women were oppressed because they were actually powerful? What if children were oppressed because of their innocence? What if leaders actually just felt afraid and weren't powerful at all?

Pharaoh subjected the Israelites to slave labor. He felt powerful by seeking them physically broken and exhausted. In verse 14, Exodus says "They made their lives bitter with hard labor in brick and mortar and with all kinds of works in the fields; in all their hard labor the Egyptians used them ruthlessly." 

It kinda reminds me of this story & example of children in India: 

http://thecnnfreedomproject.blogs.cnn.com/2013/03/20/toddlers-freed-from-brick-kiln-bondage/

The beauty about Exodus is that it doesn't end in Chapter one. It continues onward & it tells the tale of a ruler used by The Lord to save the people he loves. 

The ending is the same for every ounce of oppression that occurs in our lives today. The story doesn't end with a powerful leader being afraid of the weak. The story ends with the greatest leader of all time bringing justice for his people and redeeming them through grace, mercy and love. 

That's the king I want to follow.