My Grace is sufficient for you.

Remember Grace.

In all things. Remember the only reason we are able to even grasp a touch or relation with him is because the grace he has lavished on us. It is only through this and the sacrifice of his son on the cross for our brokenness that we can be healed. 

So then for me to live as I am broken and God is not capable of forgiving me is to live as if I am spitting in Jesus' face saying, "what you did isn't enough to save me."

May we live in such a way that we praise God with every breathe of life we have been given and know it was only by his grace that we are where we are -- int he first place. 

Beautiful in every way

This is what the Lord - God the Creator of heaven and earth
and everything living in it has to say about you:

"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, 

beautiful in every way. " Song of Songs 4:7

Regardless what people say,

Regardless of whatever people think.

there is no flaw in you.

Don't listen to what others say about you. Don't listen to what Satan tries to say about you. This is how I see you. This is how our creator sees each of us. He gives us dignity. He gives us value and ultimately our identity is rooted in him. My prayer is that I can be so strong in knowing this that nothing negative anyone has to say about me will ever break me down. I will be rooted in his love instead.

Praise God for a King

who gives women dignity

instead of taking it.

Be My Everything.

If you are everything.
then I have everything.

If I have everything
then I don't need anything.

This means : If you are everything then my decisions don't really matter.
 - It doesn't matter if I do Grad School or not because you are still present.
 - It doesn't matter if I quit my job or not because you are still present.
 - It doesn't matter if I move out of Tampa or not because you are still present.

None of my decisions then really matter. They hold no weight because if I really trust and believe you have everything then you will also then effectively provide everything. If I seek clarity, you will provide it. If I seek direction, you will provide it. If I seek community, you will provide it.

So then:

"Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness
and all these things...
will be given to you as well.

Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow
for tomorrow will worry about itself."
                Matthew 6:33-34

But what should I do instead of worrying? The answer is this fix your eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith. Seek his kingdom. His righteousness. His peace. His provision. His guidance. His knowledge so that then I can become like Paul and confidently say, "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content in whatever the circumstances." Philippians 4:11

Jesus had Lice too.

I believe nothing can break a women down so quickly
as finding out she has lice in her hair.

This was my experience Sunday night as I discovered a few bugs in my hair. I freaked out. I ultimately felt gross, dirty and ugly. I wanted to cry as I raced to the store to buy lice shampoo and began a process of picking it out until 2am that night. I couldn't do it all. I was so frustrated that everything that was good about that day went down the drain and was forgotten. I had one focus that I became consumed by. I had one goal.

The next day, my roommate offered to help pick the bugs out of my hair. At first, I was reluctant. I felt dirty and I wanted to hide in my bathroom and have no one see the problem. But from my experience picking lice out of children's hair - it is the fastest method. I didn't want to have her help me. But I realized I couldn't do it on my own.

She proceeded to help pick lice out of my hair for hours without ceasing. I sat on the floor in front of her from 10:30pm-5am on Monday night letting her pick through my hair with my fingers. I hated it. I hated it that I had this problem. I hated it that it was out of my control and I probably most of all hated that I had to rely on someone else to help me fix it. 

I began to hear the Lord reminding me of his sweet love and promises through this process. On the outside I felt broken and wasted. I felt like a plague that no one would want to be around. But I heard Jesus say, 

"Gaby, you are still beautiful. 
You are mine. I care for you even in this moment."

Is there anything more that I need besides knowing that? The Lord of all creation loves me and cares for me. He is present. He knows how this has broken my spirit in many ways but he is using it for the good. The thief comes to steal kill and destroy but my God came to give life to the fullest. (John 10:10)
This is not to harm me but to teach me. 

In this moment, he is reminding me of my identity in him. He is reminding me of my worth in him. He is showing me it is okay to be vulnerable. It is okay to come to someone and have to rely on them simply because there is no other way. My roommate acted no less then what Jesus himself would have done there with me. We would have sat side by side working together to get myself rid of these creatures. But with the whole experience, I cling to the fact that my God loves me. He allowed this to happen not to break me but to strengthen me. Now I cling to the testimony of God's grace even in this.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for 

good to accomplish what is not being done, the saving of many lives. " Genesis 50:20