The Lord will Fight for you, Will you?

I have the opportunity to leave.

I have the chance to decide that this is "too much." Realistically many people would support and understand that decision. I wouldn't be blamed for making it. I wouldn't make anyone angry to say that something was just too hard for me.

But -- this isn't how I feel.

I feel knowingly all too much the pain of staying here. I know that there's potential I could be hurt continuously. Tomorrow, Sunday, Friday or Saturday. It could happen. I could be in pain and I could end up having to cry, a lot. 

There have been many times I have prayed to God the same prayer. I have prayed my life would visibly reflect his love. I prayed that I could care for people in the way he's cared for me. I prayed that I would ultimately through love and service shine light into dark places and make his name known. I have desired to live for his kingdom and not my own. I have gone into dark places. I have endured hard things. Yet with his strengthen -- I have endured it. I have trusted in his promises and sought refuge in his unfailing love.

Jeremiah 32:27
I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?

Exodus 14:14
The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

So -- If I know this. Then I think, "How can I walk away? How can I say that anything or anyone is too much to deal with?" Those thoughts are not of Christ. They don't reflect the kingdom or his ability to love us in every aspect of our life despite all our brokenness. They are purely from a heart that is selfish and says, "I deserve better" although Christ died on the cross for me because I am a sinner in need of a savior. Who am I to say I need something greater? 

So I think instead, "I have a choice here: I can choose to love myself or I can choose to serve God." I can choose to, with Christ see redemption and restoration of a child of God back to himself. I can choose to work alongside this person and endure the hardships with them. I can recognize that I will be hurt in the process and I may not ever like that. But I can trust that God is bigger then my own pain. I can trust that Christ will be exemplified in this. I can trust and be joyful as redemption and healing occur because I know they will. I can trust that things are hard but nothing is too hard for God.

I have never questioned this choice. I have never had a doubt. I have never thought to leave even if I had a chance too. I will stay. I will fight for you. I will fight on behalf of what I believe is good, true, and wonderful about us together. 

I will long to serve you by directing you to Christ. I will seek to with Christ care for you in the way he cares for you. I will always try to speak truth into your life and honor you in every aspect of my capability. I pray I will remind you of Christ. I pray I will love you like Christ which means never making you feel crummy, unlovable, unforgivable or broken. 

Even when you don't think you are -- God thinks you are beautiful. You are his treasure to be adored and cherished.

Ecclesiastes 3:11
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. You are stronger then the devil because the spirit lives in you & Jesus cares for you. You will not be cast away because of sin but redemption will occur and you will be able to watch how God will continue to rebuild you into a fortress that will bring him the upmost glory. 

The Lord will fight for you -- will you fight for others?

The Shame of a Father

Take a look at : Sandy Hook Gunman’s Father Says He Wishes His Son Had Never Been Born

The deep tragedy of Sandy Hook is obvious. The sin and the evil that occurred that day was something I mourned for. I remember sitting in a Starbucks in NYC and watching the news. I was deeply saddened to think of these children and the millions of people affected by such a tragedy.

The gunman's father speaks out and says, "I wish my son had never been born." I am not sure how to respond to this. I don't think I should feel proud for him to say such a thing. I just feel deeply saddened. His own father wishes he was never born. Can you imagine how much that would hurt to realize?

I have the contrasting emotions of deep sadness at such words and then deep gratitude when I am reminded by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. My father -- saw me in my sin. He saw everything I had done and everything I would do -- but loved me.

He took the sin and all the evil ways I had killed and murdered people cruelly in my heart and he laid it upon his beloved Son. He sent his beloved Son to die for the sake of his love for me. He saw all the terrible things I had done -- and he never regretted creating me. But he pursued me and loved me.

Now that's the truth of a Father's love -- that something that this world will never understand when the love of a Father to a son can be seen as something regrettable. That is not the love of our King.

My Blessing

My blessing is this. I know a God who gives hope to the hopeless. I know a God who loves the unlovable. I know a God who comforts the sorrowful. And I know a God who has planted this same power within me. Within all of us.

And for this blessing, may our response always be,

"Use me."

[The One Thing Christians Should Stop Saying]

In all things -- in the fact that I am a sinner and often do many things to hinder my relationship with God. In the fact, I am sinful and selfish. In the fact, that I am potential broken in so many ways I am not aware of. In the fact, that I will continue to realize my own brokenness.

I can rejoice in knowing Christ. I can rejoice in knowing he is constant in every problem area of my life. He is steady. He loves me relentlessly. 

I am blessed.